Sunday, 1 January 2017

Am I ever going to be good enough?

Its 2017 and I dont know how I feel.
The gay community tells me that I am too short and that I am "gay fat" whatever that means. It seems like gay people just want a bunch of supermodels roaming around the palce to choose from and that if you"re not Gigi Hadid with a penis then you're not anything valuable.

I went to a  gay New Years Eve Party last night in the mountains and I was surprised at 2 things

1. Gay people run Jamaica - Ever major industry was represented; gay business leaders, media personalities, fashion designers, the works

2. I was obviously not as cute and attractive as I once thought- I was too short, "gay fat", also know as  "normal"

Thank god I have a boyfriend who thinks that I am awesome and that loves me for me because the only way I would meet all these crazy body and image standards is if I was 6'2, 120lbs and Eastern European looking ( with a skinny everything to boot).

If you can survive the gay world and be seen as attractive by most then that most mean you are awesome. In the mean while to be seen as attractive in the gay jamaican community you have to tall, skinny, light skinned, dress well, be masculine and fairly wealthy. If you meet  all those standards congratulations you're probably already the concubine of a member of parliament. If you're "normal" like me I guess you're gonna have  to be anorexic, bleach your skin and become a thief. Only to be told that you are too skinny, yufface bleach out and yuh a wan skamma bwoy.

SO GOOD LUCK!
CHEERS TO 2017

Tuesday, 4 August 2015

#PrideJA 2015

Happy Pride.

I cannot even believe that Jamaica is finally catching up with civilisation and in the last week we have been celebrating our first ever Jamaican Gay Pride... OMFG..

I was in attendance at one of the first events for the week ...The awesome dance and music extravaganza known as Strobe.. I danced,drank and had a fiesta..all the while wondering if I was having a dream...I mean at a Gay Pride event in Jamaica...really???....still cant believe


At the party I did still feel some sort of contention between the various groups namely between the Ls and the Gs of the LGBT community, but I know that not all unifying acts unify everyone at once. There are for example lesbians who despise gay guys and vice-versa. I hope that one day  we can all get along. I must say that I got a lot of side-eye from those butch lesbians when I was dancing with guys and I really just wanted to say...I LOVE YOU TOO..lol


The icing on the cake for me was meeting Ellen Paige and I felt like prideJA had gone global.. I mean Juno McGuff was there in the flesh. Still cant believe..


Although there was a lot of Positivity and Joy at the various pride events; some things I was not a fan off

1. Filming- I mean people could come and track me down based on that video tape...just saying

2. Fear - Many of my friends did not feel safe even attending the event because they were scared of what could happen,,, a protest, violence or who knows what.

But Thank the gay gods that everything went off without a hitch

Hopefully there is a #PrideJA2o16

:)

Friday, 30 January 2015

Political Bias

So a few days ago I was with my date hiking up this amazing trail near Hope Pastures and it was gorgeous both his eyes and the view. We stopped midway up and looking over the landscape below almost forgetting where we were we shared a kiss.

Now it just so happens that it was directly in front of a local ministers hone where there was obviously an early morning brunch get together going on. It seemed as if the only one to actually see us was an older woman peering out at the commonera below her.

My question is we were right in front of the minister of parliament's house ; we kissed, we gazed. There was no mob rushing out to attest us or drive us out of the community. Does class supercede sexuality in Jamaica and are even parliament members in on the secret?

Do the lower classes war ...while the ruling class stay from above judgingly enjoying he view?

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

Gay Guys in New Kingston Gutters

So the other day my date and I were walking to new Kingston on our way to emancipation park and we passed the infamous gay guys that live in the storm drain near to pulse business complex. Now initially my date was insistent on us avoiding them and I was more for being nice saying hi or atleast try to show them some support. But ofcourse we passed them an went to e-park and had a good ole time we laughed we talked and everything was OK.

So on the way back we were passing the same storm drain and there was of course a gaggle of gays by the gutter. I had my dates iPhone out and we were listening to some of his favourite hits. We were ready to walk pass them and head to half-way-tree. But as we walked one of the guys came over to us and was try a make conversation ofcourse we tried to ignore him but he kept on walking us down.  He proceeded to snatch the phone from me and run away. He tried to steal the damn phone ....but of course my date being the amazing guy he is ran tchased the guy down and was able to get his phone back. I on the other hand was a nervous and scared mess,I stayed put and called the police. When my date returned he just wanted to get out of there and we did.

Thank god he was there
He handled the situation like a true gentleman 
On the other hand this gay guys who live in the gutter had no right.. wanting people to help them but being thugs,bullies and thieves at the same time...come on

Maybe there really is no "community" in the Jamaican gay community...sigh

ONE STEP CLOSER 50 STEPS BACK...

Thursday, 29 May 2014

Be Optimistic

I've been messaging this amazing friend of mine JJ for the past few months. Just like me he's been trying to figure out this gay Jamaican waste land . He seems to be navigating it better that I am he's been strong and brave enough to come out publically and challenge the Jamaican status quo. Optimism is his recommendation that and the idea of self value and self worth. But is that enough?

He's been helping me to figure things out, to realize that being gay or even bisexual in jamaica is not a hopeless sea of nothingness but a continuous process of self realization and learning to deal. Maybe after years of living in the same situation you just learn how to survive : to fly or die. This much is true though coping well get you from day to day but optimism will get you from today to the rest of your life

Sunday, 16 February 2014

Being Gay Un-Jamaican?

Most Jamaicans are under the pretence that being gay is something foreign, un-Caribbean and un- black
is it more foreign than those Nike shoes your wearing Andre? or does that snap back that your wearing say made in Jamaica on it?....I think not

Most Jamaicans have no problem adopting practises from the developed North America or Europe but they use those same sources to negate homosexual origins in the Caribbean by blaming it all on "them"

While fast food franchises and North American fashion trends have a strong hold over Jamaican life
will we ever adopt their more open views of sexuality and self-expression or are we just meant to take the water of freedom from the US and carry it back to Jamaica in  a  wicker basket?

My suggestion  is that instead of blaming "them" for our sexuality we should learn to accept people in all shapes and sizes. Is that not what makes these developed nations so successful and light years ahead of us socially and economically.. There are so many Jamaicans that are talented.intelligent and creative that would contribute to our society's development but you scuff at them and scorn them so they migrate and contribute to other countries instead

As they say "wen merica ketch flu Jamieka staat sneez" but is this statement true in all aspects?
decide for yourselves